Recently, there is more and more attention in the media for personal pronouns. So, what exactly are pronouns, why do they matter and to whom, how to use them correctly, and why do we need to get used to gender-neutral pronouns?

What are pronouns?
Pronouns are function words, used to reference others. For example, we are used to ‘I/me/my’ to refer to ourselves (Dutch: ik/mij/mijn), ‘you/your’ (Dutch: jij/jou/jouw/u/uw) to refer to the person you’re talking to and ‘he/him/his/she/her’ (Dutch: hij/hem/zijn/zij/haar) to refer to a third person. The pronouns ‘he/him/his’ are generally used to refer to people who identify as male, and ‘she/her’ to people who identify as female. Recently, some people have started using gender-neutral pronouns in Dutch, like ‘die/diens’ and ‘hen/hun’. In English, the much older and more common singular ‘they/them’ is used. Next to these, there are also neopronouns, like ‘xij’, ‘ze’, and ‘ey’.

Who has and uses pronouns?
That’s an easy answer: everybody does! Every person prefers a specific set (or multiple sets) of pronouns for themselves. Most (but not all) women prefer to be referred to as ‘she/her and most (but not all) men prefer to be referred to as ‘he/him/his’. People outside the gender binary (for example those who are nonbinary, genderqueer, and/or genderfluid), can prefer ‘he/him/his’, ‘she/her, ‘they/them’ (Dutch: die/diens or hen/hun), a combination of these or completely other neopronouns.

People typically don’t speak about themselves in the third person. So using third-person pronouns in your speech or text is done mostly when talking about others.

Why is the correct use of pronouns important?
That means it is important to ask others which pronouns they prefer and to respect this preference by referring to that person with the correct pronouns.

Some people mistakenly believe it is possible to deduce someone’s pronouns from the way they look (how their body is shaped or the way they express themselves). This might often (but not always) be true for those who are cisgender, i.e. those whose sex assigned at birth matches their gender identity. Most (but not all) people who are assigned either ‘female’ or ‘male’ at birth and who are comfortable with this label, will present themselves in a certain way through their bodies, clothing, and hair, which makes others guess their pronouns correctly without having to think about it. Some transgender people (whose sex assigned at birth does not match their gender identity) and most people outside the gender binary, do not have this privilege. Therefore it is appreciated when others ask about their pronouns and use these correctly. That way you show you acknowledge and respect their (gender) identity.

Getting used to gender-neutral pronouns
Using gender-neutral pronouns in Dutch is relatively new. In English the use of the singular ‘they’ has been around forever – even longer than the singular ‘you’ – but still some people have to get used to using this for a known person, instead of only as a general reference to someone unknown. This language development also calls for a changed mindset, which is not easy. When you’ve been categorizing everyone you meet into either ‘he’ or ‘she’ – based on the way they look – for all your life, it naturally takes some time and practice to change that. Therefore it is okay to make a mistake, as long as you try, are open to feedback, and welcome the help when someone friendly corrects you on their own or someone else’s pronouns

These are two interesting articles on the use of gender-neutral pronouns in Dutch:

Quest magazine article on the basics (Dutch)
Article on linguistics (Dutch)

Sharing pronouns to improve inclusiveness and safety
To make the University of Applied Sciences Utrecht an inclusive and safe place for all students and staff, we can all pitch in to normalize the process of pronoun sharing. If cisgender people actively share their pronouns too, they concur with the notion that it is impossible to see which pronouns someone prefers. That way it becomes more common and easier for everyone else (including transgender people) to share their pronouns as well.

You can share your pronouns in several ways, for example:

Add your pronouns to your e-mail signature (in parenthesis next to your name).
Add your pronouns to name tags and the like.
When introducing yourself in a new group, say your name and your pronouns.

When organizing events or asking others to introduce themselves in a new group, you can stimulate the sharing of pronouns by facilitating and leading by example.

Pronouns: why it is time for inclusive communication!

More information or any questions?