Case study
During a learning team meeting, the bomb bursts. Agnes has burst into tears and walks away saying: ‘It is completely unsafe here’. These words were addressed to her learning teammates. These had taken her to task for Agnes’ failure to keep appointments, coming late, not contributing and constantly on her phone. Learning team supervisor Jamila had also once addressed her – separately from the others – on this. This did not yield much. Agnes’ words about insecurity hit Jamila.
What do we mean by conflict management?
Training in conflict management sets out to increase conflict skills for supervisors and support workers. In daily work with students, colleagues and supervisors, conflicts are inevitable. Most conflicts are perceived as unwanted and cause stress. A tricky side effect of conflicts is that they usually escalate if nothing is done about them. We have to deal with them, and the question: ‘How can you deal with a conflict in a constructive way?” is at the heart of this training.
Tackling conflict
Addressing conflict applies to both your own conflicts and third-party conflicts. You do this by:
- Self-examination
Addressing conflicts is done through self-examination: What is your conflict style, or your attitude towards conflicts? And also by finding out what a conflict is about, what makes the other person so angry, or what touches them so. - Skills training
Attention is also paid to skills that help you create peace, clarify underlying needs, leave responsibility where it belongs, turn reproaches into wishes, and reach feasible agreements aimed at ending the conflict.
Extra information
The training consists of four meetings of 2.5 hours each and these are scheduled at the end of the day (e.g. from 16.00-18.30).
The aim is to make you feel just a little more ‘senang’ after the training when things get sharp, or when you find yourself in a difficult, conflictual situation.
There is an established programme, but there is plenty of room for input and case histories:
- How do I raise difficult issues properly?
- How do I address a student when something goes wrong?
- What do I do if two or more students clash quite a bit?
- What if the finger is pointed at you, for example: ‘This is not right what you are doing.’
- How do I properly make it clear to a colleague/supervisor that I do not appreciate his/her behaviour?
It is very nice if the skills learned can be practised between meetings. This can possibly be done in small groups, or in the home and work situation. Afterwards, feedback takes place and we discuss what works and what doesn’t, and why.
If you can’t work it out or want to spar with someone about the best approach, you can also contact a confidential counsellor. This can be low-threshold without anyone else knowing about it. You can also refer the student to a confidant. Overview of confidants (hu. nl)
Follow-up case study
Learning team supervisor Jamila discussed the incident with the learning team afterwards. No one really interacted with Agnes. She then spoke to Agnes and heard her side of the story. Jamila again tells Agnes that she often fails to keep her appointments. Agnes gets angry again. Jamila says that ‘until she knows what it is about’, she cannot properly support Agnes. This is a private matter that Agnes does not want everyone to know about. The learning team supervisor gives her that assurance and then hears Agnes’ story. Together, they make arrangements for Jamila’s support. Agnes is also going to clarify to her fellow students about her ability to fulfil the arrangements.