Case study
Bennie has been supervising a sophomore learning team since the beginning of the academic year. Things don’t go smoothly every time. Some meetings run smoothly. Then the student-chair is doing a good job and all the participants are actively participating. Until there is another meeting where two students throw their asses to the curb. Bennie notes that this happens the moment he makes a proposal. Suzanne starts sighing and drools a bit, while Sven lashes out against him. Every time, Bennie is shocked by this resistance. How can he deal with this?
What do we mean by resistance?
Resistance is a reaction to a situation and often a change that we find difficult. We distinguish between direct resistance and indirect resistance.
Direct resistance is clear: it is an open form where the other person directly tells us what they disagree with and why.
Indirect resistance does not always immediately show itself as resistance. People show ‘flight behaviour’ or ‘fight behaviour’.
Suzanne displays flight behaviour where she shuts down, or starts ignoring Bennie. Flight behaviour can also manifest itself in denial, in saying ‘yes’ and meaning ‘no’, or broaching another subject.
Sven shows another form of indirect resistance. He goes on the attack directly and thus shows fighting behaviour. Attacking can also be done in various ways by belittling, insulting or accusing.
How can you deal with resistance as a supervisor?
DO’S:
Naming your perception
Start by naming what you perceive: ‘I see, I hear, I feel that you…’. Then ask further about your perception. Is that right? Tell me about it. How is it so? Can you give an example of that? What exactly do you mean? Can you tell me something about that?
Acknowledge resistance
Acknowledge the other person’s feelings. Let it be known that you understand the resistance. That makes that person feel heard. That often removes some of the resistance already.
Show sincere interest
This only works from genuine interest in the other person and really seeing him/her. You have an open listening attitude and give the other person time to answer. Try not to fill the silences after a question. This gives the other person space to think calmly.
Dealing with feelings
Dealing with resistance is also dealing with the underlying feelings. The resistance comes from somewhere, and is usually not focused on the person or the content. Someone may be fearful of change, or unsure of the consequences. Students who have to learn something new may feel resistance because they have to let go of ‘something’ and do not yet know what will take its place.
Move along and tilt
You can try to ‘move with it and tilt’. Match the other person’s objections. This will magnify the resistance. This is often not the intention either, causing the student to give in a little. This can make the situation more light-hearted.
The most important thing is to take the student and his/her feelings seriously, and to take the time together to understand and thus refute the resistance.
Follow-up case study
Bennie himself is most shocked by Sven. That affects him and he decides to use that as a starting point. ‘Joh Sven, I’m just shocked by your reaction! I can see that this is affecting you. You raise your voice and that in turn startles me. Let’s talk through this, shall we? What affects you so much?’ A conversation ensues in which Sven, and later Suzanne, express their resistance. Bennie’s proposal is discussed with the other team members, adjusted a little and accepted. Sven indicates at check-out that he enjoyed talking it through.
Extra support for colleagues
At TLN, there are several ways to get extra support.
Email tln@hu.nl with your wish or question.
Links
https://www.leren.nl/cursus/leren_en_studeren/didactiek/weerstand.html
https://www.heelopleidingen.nl/publicaties/omgaan-met-weerstand/#Is_er_een_model_voor_het_omgaan_met_weerstand