Case study
Student D makes a tense impression. As soon as I take the student aside and ask if anything is wrong, the student tells about an unpleasant incident. Someone touched and kissed the student without the student’s consent. The student is shocked by this and is emotional. The student wonders if this could have been prevented and is embarrassed. In what way can I support the student?
What is sexual transgressive behaviour and violence?
Any situation, online and offline, in which someone is approached in a sexual way that crosses a personal boundary constitutes sexually transgressive behaviour (Ministry of Education, Culture and Science, 2022).
Sexual violence is a human rights violation. The consequences are severe and often permanent. The figures do not lie: 11 per cent of female students, and 1 per cent of men, experience penetration without consent during their student days. 67 per cent of them experience psychological, sexual, physical or social problems as a result (Amnesty International, 2023).
Extra information
However, the barriers to reporting cross-border behaviour and violence, and seeking help, are high. Various victim considerations play a role in this (CSG, 2022):
- Anxiety about being blamed.
- Anxiety about negative reactions.
- Expectation of not getting support.
- Feelings of shame.
There may also be victim blaming in this context: Someone -consciously or unconsciously- blames the victim for what happened to them. This can reinforce feelings of guilt and shame.
How can you as a counsellor support a student when sexual transgressive behaviour or violence occurs?
DOs!
First of all: tell the student that there are confidants within the HU who can help him/her further and offer a listening ear.
Want to have the conversation yourself? Below is some advice from the #metoo conversation etiquette. These come from Stijn and Legien Warsosemito – Schenk.
- Let the student take the lead.
Let the person telling the story decide the pace of the conversation and what details they want to share with you. Earlier, the direction was taken away from this student. For this reason, leave the direction with the student now. - Listen, show understanding and don’t ask too many questions.
Asking questions can be sensitive and even come across as unintentionally accusatory. Even if you are just trying to clarify the situation. Above all, you can be there for the student by hearing, seeing and supporting them. - Speak out that you believe the student.
For victims, it is very important that they are believed. - Inquire how you can help the student.
- Express your gratitude for sharing.
Victims are often unsure whether and with whom to share their story. It is therefore important for them to hear that it was good to share their experience with you.
Follow-up case study
I listened to the student’s story and thanked the student for trusting me. I made the student aware of the HU’s confidants. After all, they know best what the possible next steps are in this situation.
Extra information
- Government commissioner Mariëtte Hamer has developed an Impact overview on sexual transgressive behaviour and violence, and a Handbook for organisations on how to deal with it.
- Check all ten #metoo Conversation Etiquette here.
- Check out the Roadmap Integrity and the HU’s Integrity Code here.